The Queen's Rules - Lisa's Words to Live By

Month

May 2012

73 posts

Florida woman kills fiancé over cigarette. Wow & I thought Russell Brand unfollowing Katy Perry on Twitter was cold!

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May 15, 2012

Competitive eating champ Kobayashi drinks 42 cups of coffee. Does incredible impression of Michael J. Fox immediately after!

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May 14, 20121 note

Tonight at 7 p.m. on Howard 101 on SiriusXM, we’ll be talking all things Apprentice. Call in at 1-888-STERN101

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May 14, 2012

In 24 hrs, Mon7PM EDT, listen to my Howard101 special on SiriusXM. All the Apprentice dirt you can handle for a full hr! Call 888-STERN-101

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May 13, 2012

Tonight 9p on @apprenticenbc me, Dee, Adam, Paul, Penn, Teresa & Debbie are all back to help the final 2. Guess Lou didn’t hear about it…

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May 13, 20121 note

Y r folks saying Travolta’s gay because of 3 male masseurs he “harassed?! It’s not gay if u close your eyes & pretend it’s a Chinese broad!

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May 12, 20121 note

THIRD male masseuse claims he was sexually harassed by Travolta. Said John dropped his robe, hugged him & told him to “Get Shorty!”

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May 12, 2012

Tomorrow 9p on @apprenticenbc I come back to help & in the 1st 10 minutes Trump fingers someone like Travolta on the massage table!

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May 12, 2012

Jimmy Fallon asked Howard Stern for advice on interviewing Obama. That explains why he asked the Prez if Michelle ever QUEEFS in bed!

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May 11, 2012

This Sun 9p on @apprenticenbc I come back to help. Dayana, Cheryl, Lou & Tia not invited. Guess they were busy finding a cure for cancer!

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May 11, 2012
Lisa Lampanelli: 25 Things You Don't Know About Me → say.ly

Think you know everything about me? Well, you don’t. Here’re the 25 things I told @USWeekly u might not know!

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May 10, 20121 note

So glad President Obama endorsed same-sex marriage. That’s his way of telling North Carolina, “Take that, you punk ass bitch state!”

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May 10, 20122 notes

Prez Obama endorses same-sex marriage. Will hold 1st debate with Republicans on the Bravo channel!

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May 10, 20123 notes

Woman finds out she’s pregnant, gives birth 5 hrs later. “Is that a baby’s head coming out of your vagina or are u just happy to see me?”

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May 9, 20121 note

800-lb bride fitted for world’s largest wedding dress. Holy shit, that’s a big white woman. What’s the black guy’s name?

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May 9, 20121 note
Lisa Lampanelli On How Clay Aiken Is So Ballsy ( Ep. 432 ) from Big Morning Buzz Live | Show Clip| V... → say.ly

Here’s my chat with @CarrieKeagan on #VH1Buzz http://on.vh1.com/BMBLllmp @VH1Love her!!!

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May 9, 2012

John Travolta sued by male masseuse for sexual battery. Yeah right! Next thing you’ll tell me is that Clay Aiken is gay! #duh

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May 8, 20121 note

In 1 hour, check me out at 11 pm EST on @showbiztonight with my pal, AJ Hammer, on @HLNTV Dishin’@ApprenticeNBC dirt.

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May 7, 2012

In the end it’s my temper that got me fired from @apprenticenbc. Boy if I only coulda controlled it as well as Arsenio…#huh?

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May 7, 20121 note
http://say.ly/ggo3fJj → say.ly

Great blog @clayAiken - you da man!

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May 7, 2012
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