The Queen's Rules - Lisa's Words to Live By

Jun 08

It’s cool that Kris & Bruce Jenner have separate houses. If there’s 1 thing they’re known for, it’s doing the right thing for their family!

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Kris & Bruce Jenner live in separate houses. Much like his face, rumors of their impending divorce are highly distorted!

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Jun 07

Makes sense that Kourtney Kardashian wore a strap-on penis on her show. Every time I watch that show, I feel like I just took it in the ass!

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Kourtney Kardashian wears strap-on penis on her TV show. Wow! They’ll do anything for ratings. Except be interesting!

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Jun 06

Baltimore’s jail is full of contraband, gangs, sex. Sounds like my former dating life! Or Congress!

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Report: Baltimore’s jail full of contraband, gangs, sex. No shit! And Tom Cruise’s house is full of copies of Dianetics & shoe lifts!

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FL woman designs toilet paper wedding dress. How white-trash can u get? BTW, congrats to the lucky bridesmaid who caught the toilet brush!

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Jun 05

I could definitely see Al Pacino as Han Solo in ‘Star Wars’. “Come say hello to my NOT so little friend, Chewbacca!” #HanManero

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Al Pacino reveals he almost played Han Solo in ‘Star Wars’. “I’m Han Solo. You fuck with me, you’re fucking with the best!” #ScarWars

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Jun 04

McDonalds admits salads only make up 2-3% of sales. That’s like Megan Fox admitting 2-3% of her fans watch her movies for the acting! #duh

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